Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
