i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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