You're my little dorito
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
