Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
