Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
