I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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