Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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