margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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