I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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