He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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