Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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