I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
