walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
