so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
