can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
