I want to have your abortion
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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