I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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