I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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