Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Randomize
