Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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