the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
