you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Mom said you looked used
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
