shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize