my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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