I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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