talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
