if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
