Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
