Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
