This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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