No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
