There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
too bad you live with your parents still
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
