I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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