I'm laying in your front yard are you home
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
