oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
