The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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