Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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