in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
