I cut my penus on the lid.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
