Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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