yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
