Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
