and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
