i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
