watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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