I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
