Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
