Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Randomize
