I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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