i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize