It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
