I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
