So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
