he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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