Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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