I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
