Just fell off a train. Bad.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize