In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
