please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
